UPDATE
I’ve started up a BDSMLR account. Currently empty but I’m hoping to get some time soon to get it up and running.
Follow me at canadiandomreturns.
Please boost :) would love to try and start rebuilding the following again.
I’ve started up a BDSMLR account. Currently empty but I’m hoping to get some time soon to get it up and running.
Follow me at canadiandomreturns.
Please boost :) would love to try and start rebuilding the following again.
Found and followed.
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
He may be withdrawing, or it may simply be that he’s dealing with a lot of other “life” shit and, from his perspective at least, everything is fine. Time will tell.
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
I don’t see a problem here at all. It’s what I do, and there’s a reason for it. Here’s the thing: offering one’s submission is not a “one and done” kind of deal. A submissive wakes up every morning and makes the decision, consciously or not, to offer their submission again that day. By waiting for their “good morning” or equivalent text, the Dom is giving the submissive the space to make that decision. We won’t admit this, because we’re all Domly as fuck, but we sit and wait with a certain low key, usually subconscious anticipation to see if we get our “Good morning.” Unspoken, and more often than not subconscious, there is always at least a whisper of the thought: “Is today the day I don’t get my ‘good morning’? Is today the day my submissive decides to move on?”
Well said but I like to add my point of view.
Dear anon, you decided to submit to your Dom and you decide every morning if he is still worthy. Sending him your “Good morning, Sir” is a sign that you still think he’s the one worth your submission. It is a sign that, maybe, the first thing you’re thinking about after waking up is him, it shows also respect towards him and that you are willing to follow him wherever he may lead you (in between your limits and boundaries).
It is not onto him to send you a good morning first. Instead he waits if he gets his today. Submission is a gift that is given anew every single day. I like to think that my Sir sits and smiles when he gets my good morning text and maybe thinks “She’s mine for another day.”
A fantastic point of view. In BDSM relationship thinking.
~Primal
I’ve never seen the thought articulated before, but this hits my thought process spot on.
good
One could equally say that the dom sending the message first is him ‘setting up the day’ and reaffirming his position. Personally though, first awake sends the first message. Don’t overthink things, guys.
I know there’s a lot of tension after Tumblr’s new policy annouced for December 17th, but reblog this if you aren’t leaving Tumblr so that other blogs can know they aren’t going to be completely alone!
“I spoon fed my mother thickened water, one tablespoon at a time.”
Crusoe flew to the opposite coast a couple of weeks ago. Crusoe is a good son, a good human. His folks needed him, and despite the “everything else” he went to them.
Less than 12 hours after making the trek back across country to home, he received the call that his mother had another stroke and was back in the ICU.
As we waited for news we laid together in our bed, my head tucked into his chest, fingers tracing random patterns through the salt and pepper hair on his chest. I listened as he heaved tears recounting the way he gave his mother water. He choked out a quote from the book, “I Love You Forever” the tale of a mother’s love for her son, and ultimately how the tables were turned as she aged.
It was (and continues to be) fucking heartbreaking.
While Crusoe was away, Tumblr decided my nipples are offensive and the life we lead needs to be policed. Hmm. Good to know.
I realize I’m all over the map, but when I write about power exchange, I write about it ALL. We don’t exist in the black and white world of artfully staged porn shots. Each and every one of us are fully formed humans with rich lives that exist beyond the words on our blogs. Our relationships, our dynamics, our lives, exist in a realm far beyond what can be captured on a website.
When Crusoe left for the ten days away, he left me dated envelopes to open every day. He did not leave me tasking, but left me a daily reminder that though we were apart, he was present. It was a bit of a change for us. Normally, I am the one who writes daily affirmations and tucks them in his luggage when he travels, but life has been lifing all over us lately.
We don’t have an active contract. It sounds silly, but we were in the midst of reviewing and renewing our contract when life intervened. Nothing has changed. I haven’t kneeled in ages. Nothing has changed. There has been no tasking. No beatings. For fuck’s sake, there hasn’t been any sex (we are both exhausted.) Nothing has changed. Our couples counselor fired us (but that’s a whole different story) and yet, our dynamic is stronger than ever. Our relationship on solid ground.
The trappings of D/s, the pictures, the perfect dynamics… those are the gravy and largely exist in fantasyland. The core of every dynamic is the relationship. We all need to trust that the relationship will carry us through.
“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living,
my baby you’ll be.”
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
Because both kneeling and corner time, despite their different contexts, are situations where the submissive is “alone with their thoughts.” And as we all know, the inside of a sub’s head is often a noisy, squirrely place. If their Dom is not present and watching over them, kneeling and corner time can feel an awful lot like abandonment. And a sub’s brain when they feel abandoned is going to spin up into overdrive, and then you have a mess on your hands trying to get things sorted out.
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
So ask yourself this: whose decision is it whether or not Sir gets to deal with the drama in your life and help you get through it? Because right now it sure as hell sounds to me like you think it’s your decision whether to engage Sir or not. Which I’m sure isn’t how you see it, but that’s basically what you’re doing. You don’t get to do that. Have a meta talk with Sir soonest and help him to help you. That is how a Good Boy conducts himself.
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
So you compromise: you sleep in another room, perhaps after getting her tucked and asleep. Don’t fuck with her night light; as someone who’s dealt with night terrors and nightmares for decades, trust me: don’t fuck with it.
Anonymous asked:
instructor144 answered:
Years. As recently as two years ago, I only had roughly 3,000 Followers. (I’m at 31K now) I didn’t really start gaining a lot of Followers until I started getting and responding to a lot of Asks, and posting a lot of text pieces. The more people reblogged my articles and Asks, the more people Followed; rinse and repeat, and here we are.
